 (Source)Cole's father has an amazing bit of "huge old man crotch" on display, here. I love it! However, his rooster hair got really out of control and part of it doubled in size. It's the sort of detail that... sticks out.  His hair does a bit of a repeat in this panel, due to being drawn in a size that doesn't seem to scale with the rest of his head. So, while it still looks wrong (Compared to the other instances we've seen of it), it's only subtly so. Also of note, Cole's speech balloon doesn't need to wrap behind Brent's head. When you place speech balloons behind physical objects in your strip, you'd better have a gag-related reason for it -- because it makes your speech bubbles also look like physical objects.God, the drawing of Brent blissfully going to town on an ice cream sandwich is just delicious. It may have been funnier if we'd also been given his "emotional sunglasses" look, but it's already great. Oh, do take note of how there is a distinct separation between the collar of Cole's dad's shirt and his cardigan.  You see, drawing a single line to imply the edges of both articles of clothing works... but it looks sloppier and lazier. I also attempted to put some definition behind how the collar is bent, because the "bent, yet pointed at the viewer" angle is leaving most of the work to the viewer's imagination. It should, of course, be noted that Cole's father's collars (I seriously need a name for this guy. "Father's brother's half-cousin's former roommate's" syndrome. Mr. Richards, then, unless he doesn't share Cole's last name. I'm starting to suspect that he doesn't share Cole's first name...) are still a much-improved version of Cole's own collars.The other alterations are another "Bring the speech balloons to the foreground" issue, and then a little chin job to show that Mr. Richards' head is not entirely confined by his collar. Nothing big, nothing fancy. Just trying to show some practical and possibly-useful edits. To wrap things up, though, the punchline here is a little odd. Mr. Richards responds to the allegation that he may have forgotten details from his own youth with the rejoinder that he still remembers what COLE did as a child. Sorry, Mr. Richards, but what relevance does that have to your OWN childhood? Just how young were you when Cole was five? |
Wednesday, August 26
Hummel Suggestions
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Forgot to mention that Cole now has a couple of hairs on the back of his head that look like balder versions of his father's. I don't know how long he's had them, but they clearly don't always show up (Though they're tall enough to, no matter what angle Cole is seen from). Oh, Cole, if only you had your father's thick, luscious eyebrows and rooster tufts!
ReplyDeleteAnd as of today, the story has gone from rinse-repeat to totally derailed.
ReplyDeleteThe two strips prior to today didn't progress the story in any way (except to move the characters indoors).
Today, it's clear Kurtz became so enamoured with the ice cream sandwich idea, that it's now the new centerpiece of the story. Fantastic.
Unfunny/boringville ahoy.
@Chris
ReplyDeleteIt's not always about progressing the story. Sometimes it's about fleshing out characters and relationships.
The strip isn't going anywhere. We'll get to the end of the storyline soon enough.
Take your time to get to know these characters and how they intereact. It doesn't all have to be resolved in three strips. I'm not on some creative deadline.
I think it's exciting to see that these guys have all known each other for decades and what that means. How different is Brent around Cole's dad, etc.
I want to take the time to explore that. I don't wnat to feel rushed.
It's not some indication that suddenly I'm off track. Maybe you're track. But that's not the track we're following.
Sorry.
@Jai,
ReplyDeleteI'm learning how I want to draw Cole senior as I go. So things are going to change from strip to strip. Sorry that's distracting.
You're right about that word bubble behind Brent's head. I hated it the minute I drew it but I wanted to get the strip posted. I think I might to back and rework that panel COMPLETELY!
That's amateur shit right there, dude. I botched that one.
I intended, and forgot, to mention that this is still, what, well within the first week of Cole's dad being a part of the strip -- and that, as such, early continuity in his design should be EXPECTED to fluctuate. Solely by virtue of how new the design is. I didn't intend to sound like I expected you to have a hundred hours of practice, variations and improvements on his design already clocked in.
ReplyDeleteAnd I hear you on the "Wanted to get it posted quickly" front. There's a constant balancing act between refinement and timeliness in play, and to provide unparalleled service to one of the two often means you'll be driving yourself crazy on the other front.
@Scott it's not just that this felt off track. It feels like you don't trust your readers to get that Cole's dad vehemotely denies being in that photo. So, you wrote two extremely similar strips to drive it home when you really only needed one.
ReplyDeleteAs I've said before: I love the art, but PvP could really benefit from havig a dedicated writer a la Penny Arcade.
Trust your readers to get it the first time.
Hey, everyone. This page looks pretty neat. I'm glad someone other than my lazy self went out of their way to do this up. Kudos and imaginary medals for all.
ReplyDeleteAs far as story goes, there isn't much to go on about Cole's father not being honest with his son. Come on, he's old, let the man be. Cole's "think back" line and the rest is pretty condescending. Disbelief, something like "really?!... but this definitely looks like you", probably would have suited the line better rather than dismissing him as forgetful.
Isn't there a conventional method to do speech bubbles that are from people outside the frame? I always thought those used an inward pointing tail. Anyway the third panel looks overly cluttered and Brent doesn't seem to be enjoying that delicious pork-chop....I mean, ice cream sandwich.
I laugh every time I see what Joe Dunn from Joe Loves Crappy Movies calls something like "the Palm up explanation move". Often when a character either needs to explain something or have something explained you can find the character holding their palm up in frame, Dunn often uses the move himself. Since having this pointed out, I notice it quite frequently so there must be some truth to the move.
"Isn't there a conventional method to do speech bubbles that are from people outside the frame? I always thought those used an inward pointing tail." - D
ReplyDeleteIndeed there is, but since Cole is positioned within the frame but entirely behind a wall, it would make it look like he's now in the kitchen. Optionally, the "speech balloon coming from behind an obstacle" could have been used -- the tail tapers off into a sort of starburst located on the obstruction -- but since Brent's head is right there, it's a little tricky to connect the speech bubble to Cole instead of Brent. Doable, I'm sure, but I prefer the way Kurtz drew the balloon (Perhaps just because it's a bit more novel than the starburst thing, nails Cole's location, and really can't be misinterpreted).
I use the palm up explanation move in real life! I had to think about it, though. It's one of those semi-subconscious gesticulations that conversation brings out in some people, I guess. It's definitely more memorable (If still, I suspect, a bit of a subconscious move on the artists' parts) in a comic strip's static form. (Oh, and Joe Dunn knows his stuff. Serious artist chops... he just doesn't make me laugh much, and I find his movie tastes to be a bit far afield of my own... although still interesting. Sorry!)
@Chris
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, you have no idea how Penny-Arcade is written. It doesn't have a dedicated writer. Mike and Jerry collaborate on the writing. I've been in the room when they do it.
PvP has a dedicated writer: me. And I'm perfectly qualified to decide what my characters are going to do next.
Also consider that I'm writing not just for the daily strip but also for the collections. So sometimes I want to take my time because I know the pacing will be right when you read it in one sitting.
@ Scott - about "dedicated" writer...
ReplyDeleteI think by now you know that I appreciate your writing chops. And, I'm not about to criticize direction choice, here. But, I'd like to suggest something to you. Read O'Henry, and maybe a bit of Mark Twain and Jack London. But, definitely read at least 30 O'Henry stories (they're short).
Sometimes the hardest part about writing something the way a person would say it lies in that you may not know yet how that person would say it. He was a master at conveying regional dialect and alternating speech patterns derived from the different ways individuals use slang. I think this will really help you in smoothly transitioning text from one character to another.
Misty Watercolor...
ReplyDeleteITo me, there seems to be a lot of detail work in this strip. More than in most other PVP strip I've ever seen. (But, he missed two spots in panel 1. The lips and the left sleeve/forearm [it's as if there's nothing there to support it].)
As Jai pointed out about the collar in "Hummel Pie" being a separate piece of clothing from the sweater, in the first panel we can see where Scott took the time to show where the fold of the sweater meets the collar. And, almost every piece of color and linework in this strip has something unique about it. So much so that I almost believe the lamp* in panel three is not the same lamp in the other panels.
(* The lamp seems to be a cross between a table lamp and a floor lamp. Unless it's on a pedestal, in which the shade would be too small in diameter.)
I would have been quite satisfied with a copy/paste for the lamp, cup, and end table. They are static objects, after all.
And, yes, I mention the end table because of this...
Panel three features an inner enlightenment as Sr. finally recollects something about himself, which had been long forgotten. That must be some bright-ass bulb inside of him. Not only does it lighten up his face and clothes, but it shines on the furniture as well. It's as if someone shined a spotlight on him. That's something that just won't translate as well in print, since a monitor is a light source. (1 pt for webcomics)
The last panel is a bit confusing for me. The expression on his face and the, "oh yeeeaaah..." express (to me) the return of a childlike wonder (aka - a good kind of nostalgia). It would seem to me that for a man to repress something that is as big of a production as being featured in a tv series, it couldn't have been a happy memory. Either that, or he's about three times older than he looks.
Although, it does kind of remind me of Tootles. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hook_(film)) There may be adventure ahead...
I'm still quite anxious to see where this leads. Although, I'm sure it'll end with Sr. calling Cole some derivative in an "Archie Bunker" style (as Caroll O'Connor is HIS master).
"A Fridge to Nowhere" more like the Fridges of Madison County because they got Clint Eastwood to fall in love with Meryl Streep and that's a bloody miracle.
ReplyDeleteThe writing in this one is a little lazy. We couldn't have known the depth of brent's love of ice cream sandwiches. I mean everyone loves ice cream sandwiches. Cole should have said something more pointed like "Dude, why are you always sneaking in here ans eating all the ice cream sandwiches?" then brent's line could have been deleted from that panel and just have had hime chowing down the last bites rather than rubbing it into his temple in the third panel. It's weird that the sandwich is gone because apparently they are awesome in that particular room.
"Misty watercolors" is a nice way to end this yarn. Though it would have been cool to see the pipe smoke curl into a rocket emblem during the realization panel. Scott could also whip out an alternate ending for this strip by copy-pasting the second panel over the fourth panel and changing the like to "bah humbug!" Actually thats a pretty decent t-shirt design.